Grief is a normal response to loss. It is painful to lose someone you love and the pain of loss can be profound. 

Each of us experiences grief differently. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Try to ignore all the “how to grieve” advice that others may give us.

Grief can affect all aspects of our lives--psychological, physical, social and spiritual.

Grief involves may different emotions--sadness, loneliness, guilt, anger, helplessness, anxiety, fear, confusion and relief. These emotions may come in unpredictable waves.  They can be triggered by the tiniest thing--a scent, a line of music, a face in a crowd-- or nothing at all. They may repeat themselves in a cyclical fashion and/or change over time.

Grief may make it difficult to concentrate, remember things, and make decisions. Because of this, we may feel we are "going crazy." We are not. This is a normal part of grief.

Grieving people may feel exhausted much of the time. It takes a great deal of energy to carry the intense feelings of grief and learn to live without our loved ones. It is common to experience a change in sleep patterns, a loss of appetite, and physical symptoms. It is important to see a doctor before you assume the symptoms are due to grief.

Grief prompts us to question and search for meaning. Our belief in the order and kindness of the world may be shaken. We may question our spiritual beliefs. We may ask “Why?” and ponder the meaning of death for our own lives.

The process of grief gives us choices. We can choose to grieve in a way that is right for us. Grief challenges us to find our unique strengths and offers the opportunity for transformation--personal growth and new meaning in our lives.

We do not “get over” grief and return to "normal." Grief will change us forever.

“Sorrow, like the river, must be given vent
lest it erode its banks.”
-Earl Grollman

Deborah Brown-Penrose